Deep-dish pizza shall be served in place of communion wafers. Michael Jordan shall be declared the Greatest of All Time. And the Trevi Fountain shall be dyed green.
If internet memes became reality, Pope Leo XIV of Dolton, Ill., a southern suburb of Chicago, would turn Vatican City into Downtown Chicago, complete with a reflective kidney bean statue and carts serving ketchup-less hot dogs. Malört — Chicago’s unofficial liquor with a burning-tires aftertaste — would replace red wine as a symbol of the blood of Christ.
These and other whimsical suggestions started popping up on social media moments after Robert Francis Prevost’s Chicago roots came to light on Thursday.
“Canes nostros ipse comedit,” the marquee at Wieners Circle, a famous Chicago hot dog joint, joked in Latin. “He has eaten our dogs.”
Chicago drips with personality and has larger-than-life cultural figures and its fair share of corrupt politics, all of which are mixed with a touch of little-brother syndrome, making it a uniquely meme-able city. The food is polarizing, the history is stranger than fiction, and the traditions — like dyeing the river green on St. Patrick’s Day and playing softball without gloves — are somewhat bizarre.
“We definitely don’t take ourselves too seriously,” said Shermann Thomas, 43, a Chicago historian who also goes by the name Dilla. “The only rule is we don’t want anybody else talking crap about us.”
If the new pope found himself scrolling through social media, he would perhaps get a chuckle at the memes that ribbed Chicago for its quirks and poked at the paradox of a modern city entwining with a 2000-year-old tradition.
The jokes were so plentiful that people started posting their drafts of jokes that didn’t quite make the cut.
“The existence of Chicago Pope implies the existence of MLA Pope and APA Pope,” a user posted. Another user joked, “Chicago Pope, Tuesdays on NBC.”
In a city filled with diehard sports fans who have had little to celebrate of late, the sports jokes wrote themselves. Could this be the first time a pope has ever listened to “The Super Bowl Shuffle” or screamed at Steve Bartman? What is his opinion about the Chicago Bulls trading Elton Brand for Tyson Chandler?
“Daaaaaa Pope,” the Chicago Bears’ quarterback Caleb Williams posted on X.
Artificial intelligence, which is usually contributing to brain rot or helping high school students cheat, was working overtime at making some quality memes. Fake images of the pope baptizing an Italian beef sandwich and wearing a Chicago Bears cassock circulated.
For Mr. Thomas, the city historian, a lot of the city’s humor comes from how many different cultures fit themselves inside such a small area. Only Chicago could be home to Al Capone, the Latin Kings and the pope, he said.
This story could go on for another 500 words, filled with silly Chicago pope jokes. And it would be delightful. But we’ll leave you with perhaps the most relatable meme of the day:
“The Popemobile just cut you off on I-94.”
